|Air Date||March 15, 2009|
|Writer(s)||James Bobin & Jemaine Clement & Bret McKenzie|
|Guests Stars|| Arj Barker as Dave|
| Prev: New Zealand Town|
Bret enlists Jemaine and Dave to help him try to land a girlfriend; Murray regrets making Greg his scapegoat.
Coming home from the Pet Store one day, Bret begins singing a fabricated song of his happy encounters with a woman he has a crush on to a confused Jemaine. Explaining to Jemaine that he is so nervous that he doesn't want to talk to her and continously buys goldfish after every encounter with her, he comes up with the idea to recruit help from Mel who teaches him how to look through peoples "rubbish" for personal information.
Dave and Jemaine soon become his personal guides as he attempts to get a date with her. The plan soon botches when Bret becomes once again nervous and asks for a goldfish.
Eventually coming up with the courage to ask her on a date, Bret remembers a trick from a sitcom he saw. With the help of Jemaine and the mugger John, he plans a fake mugging that he intends to stop in a foul attempt to impress his date. However, John takes the staging seriously and truly mugs them, ultimately getting Jemaine pepper-sprayed. The cops show up and arrest Jemaine and John. At the police station, Murray and the Prime Minister bail Jemaine out of holding by conjuring up the idea that Jemaine has Diplomatic Immunity and that the police have no right to hold him. Jemaine is released (somehow) but John stays in jail, marking his last appearance of the series (his fate is unknown, however it is likely he remained in jail).
Bret comes home from a date with the petshop woman who recognizes Jemaine as one of the muggers. Bret and Jemaine explain to her that it was all a plan, and that they looked through her trash. Calling them creeps, she leaves.
|Season One Episodes|
|Season Two Episodes|