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Petrov, Yelyena, & Me

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thumb|300px|right|Petrov, Yelyena and Me (live version)Petrov,Yelyena and Me is a song performed by Bret, Mel and Doug in the series final Evicted. It is sung in a heavey russian accent and it is about three friends , Petrov,Yelyena and Burthult, lost at sea, and after a while Petrov and Yelyena begin to eat Burthult piece-by-piece over the period of 4 months, untill finally Burthult consumes arsenic to poison his flesh, resulting in the death of the two cannibals.In the live show, Jermaine fills in as Petrov,and also sings the melody with Bret.


Petrov, Yelyena and Me, lost but happy at sea

Petrov and Yelyena said to me; "shouldent we have something to eat?"

Well i said theres plenty of fish in the sea

But all they can see is me.

they say "Any last requests?"

Bidding my time i say yes

I want to party,just we three,

Lost, But happy at sea

So we drank all night from the keg

i passed out,then i woke with one leg

I said " hey Petrov, have you seen my leg?"

He said "No" and he went back to bed.

But he looked suspiciously well fed.

Three days later their hungry again, they say

"Any last requests,Again, My friend?"

So I said "Do you know any Rolling Stones !?"

"It was a hilarious moment in a very bleak,bleak time in my life.

So we danced all night to the Rolling Stones

When I woke up they were chewing on bones

Yelyena was sipping blood from a cup

"Thats when i knew something was up"

"Hey Petrov"


"What is that you are eating? It looks like a meat!"

"Oh this,em,its just one of those..ahhhhhhhh...Fish"

"How come it looks so much like my arm!"

"Its an.....Arm-Fish"

"But Whatabout the fingers!"

" Fish-Fingers"

"Oh,its just one of my arms seems to have been hacked off at the elbow last night.......I was just wondering if you might have seen it?"

" Oh hey look at that, no arm over there!...........Dont you just hate it when that happens!.....Hmmmm,,You were very drunk last night,perhaps you lost it?.........In a fair game of chance"

"Oh yes, yes, you are probably right!"

"Yeah, you know how it is when you are drunk"

"Yes, that was probably it!"

" I.....I`d Bet my arm!......Just Relax, enjoy the sea and have some *fish* ! "

Four months now, lost at sea

My friends have almost finished Me

Now there using recipies

"Tonight, we are having some *Me Goren*"

"Burthult, this" You Goren" is delicious! You should come over here right now and try some, you will be a part of yourself!"


"OOOOOOOhhhhhhh.......I know SOMEBODY who is`nt getting any!"

Later that night while they were asleep

I swallowed some arsenic to poison my meat

I was very ill, but revenge is soooo sweet

Unlike the last meal my comraedes would eat!


When i awoke,they were already dead

all that was left of me was my head

No, not dead , just a head

Lost , but happy at sea

Lost, but so lonely, at sea.........

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