| First Appearance: "Sally"|
Last Appearance: "Evicted"
Mel is the biggest and only fan of Flight of the Conchords. She is featured on most episodes. She has been seen to make sexual passes at both Jemaine and Bret in various episodes, and has on at least one occasion hinted that she would love to see Bret and Jermaine get in on with each other. She is married, has medium-length curly hair, and has noticeable "buck" teeth.
Mel does things like hang out under Bret and Jemaine's stairs in order to run into them when they leave the house. She bakes them cookies in their likeness and recounts her dreams about them. Cue Like in My Dreams.
She has an unshakeable crush on Bret despite being married herself.